Joy Carter/ Mat and Faron/ Adam Crowe
06 November 2005
A somewhat patchy night of comedy by Comedy Cavern standards, which started late and was all a bit haphazard.
Compere Joy Carter revealed that she was a black woman adopted by white parents who was born in Scunthorpe and now lives in Peckham… quite a combination! I liked her line: “hands up who’s black”, which elicited laughter and confusion in equal.
The first act was Sunderland’s Mat and Faron, the highlight of the night. Faron is a mangy-looking guitarist and Mat fronts most of the set. Their songs were on topics from rent boys to the Irish, Tim Henman, and one night stands. They played with stereotypes and utilised a range of very smart and funny lines, which seemed to go over the heads of a few members of the audience who were unfortunately shouting “Geordie twats” throughout much of the gig. Interestingly, both Mat and Faron did bits of individual standup comedy too, which was a nice variation, and they also made good use of costumes and physicality. They closed with a rap, dressed as tramps, which they claim is the real “music from the streets”. “Tramps in the house!” they cried – “That’s a contradiction!”
Welshman Ellis James did the open spot, telling us about his childhood dice with death (his mate had some scissors at school!) and lamenting Al Pacino’s performance in Merchant of Venice. Although a newcomer, James had a good delivery and was able to weave quirky and intriguing personal stories whilst keeping the gags coming.
Half Irish, half South African headliner Adam Crowe’s assured delivery and clever use of language allowed him to get away with a lot of pretty cutting abrasive material about women (“I’m no lady-killer. I’ve maimed a few”, etc). He did, nevertheless, claim to be “on your side, sisters”, having shagged a German! It was all rather unsavory but perhaps that’s what the night needed. Certainly, people were laughing hard, and by the time I called it a night he had at least moved onto discussing drunkenly fucking midgets. Now that’s what I call progress!
Joke competition
“What’s the difference between George Clooney and a whisk?”
The audience effort at jokes this week was so appalling that the victor was actually the following: “George Clooney would feel fucking horrible up your arse”. This was only made funny by punter Alistair Smith owning up to his joke with such gleeful abandon.
The only other effort which wasn’t sub-retarded was a joke that was totally unrelated to the question. Do you want to hear it…? Well, OK – “Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One turns to the other and says ‘Let’s get shit-faced!’”
Oh, and the one which should have won was “My whisk hasn’t been inside so many women’s drawers”. Although even that’s pretty lame, huh?
Heckles:
Mat (from Mat and Faron): We’re going to do some role-play. I’ll be the man and Faron will be the beautiful woman. So—man, beautiful woman; man, beautiful woman…
Heckler: Which is which?
Mat: I’ve got a beard, mate. Christ, I bet you’re wife is very ugly.
Heckler: We’re not as good looking as you.
Mat (from Mat and Faron): I can tell that already and you’re in the dark!
Matthew Alford