John Robins/ Dougie Dunlop/ Craig Campbell
30 October 2005
A very strong night of comedy, in which Yours Truly made his stand-up debut! Oh yes! I don’t just exist on the internet -- I am real!! See my review of myself below…
Compere John Robins discovered for us that one audience member had recently seen a geyser of bloody eight feet high (he was a doctor) and another guy had got a hernia in his willy when he was five! A bizarre beginning, which led us nicely into the first act.
Dougie Dunlop was a Scotsman with a very high gag-rate and engaging tone. He talked about his hometown on Edinburgh, students, sports, and low lives from London. He also discussed living with his gran, which got him some of the best laughs of the night. “Young men aren’t so polite these days” - “Yes gran, that’s because they’re not trying to fuck you anymore” – just one of many great lines in Dunlop’s set.
So, how did Yours Truly do in the open spot? Alright, I guess - explained to a hundred people that I am a sexual deviant, revealed my own seething misanthropy (“Don’t worry about bird flu, everyone. It will only kill old people!”), and – after my topical stuff on Iran/Israel went tits up – consoled myself by downing a pint of lager on stage. Ahhhh the glitz, the glamour, the adulation!!
Craig Campbell came across as an extremely self-assured comic (remarkably polite offstage too), improvising material about organic cider for about ten minutes in response to some humungously drunken lads in the corner (yes, “humungously” is a real word – Stephen Fry says we can use any words we like. So there). He seemed to have an unending stream of ideas about Canada (his country) and life in England, Scotland, France and elsewhere. This was combined with an exciting delivery and some brilliant imagery – his deliberations on Freezing to Death in Canada were just fantastic and line of the night must surely be: “During a 69-er, do you forget you’re supposed to be licking her vagina?”
Joke competition
What’s the difference between Kate Moss and washing powder?
- About two kilograms
- Fuck all. They both get rid of coke.
- Kate Moss would never go for a spin with someone called “Daz”
- My mum’s never run out of Kate Moss
- Students have heard of Kate Moss
- I don’t have an answer but thanks for the pen.
- Some cunt always says ‘I don’t have an answer but thanks for the pen’. It really fucks me off.
Matthew Alford