Steve Williams/ Todd Sawyer/ Die Clatterschenkenfi
09 October 2005
One of the best comedy nights I’ve been to this year, helped in no small part by a boisterous and engaged audience (see Heckles, below). Compere Steve Williams didn’t do any pre-prepared material for at least the first ten minutes, which established the free-form tone to the evening and showed the audience that they were in very capable hands. He told us a bit about his nan and how he’d like to put a slinky in her hip (for when she falls down the stairs) and then brought on the first act…
… 39-year old L.A-born Todd Sawyer was a curious guy with an understated delivery. He had some nice lines about British trains, blind people at the movies, and the Scots (“everyone loves them and they hate everyone else”) but the main part of his set took us on a faintly disturbing journey through the miseries of aging and failure, with particular reference to his shattered dreams of professional basketball glory and the breakdown of his marriage. Comedians frequently talk about gender, sex, and cohabitation but Sawyer really gives the impression of living the life and feeling it crumble. At some points Sawyer seemed concerned that the audience was too young to appreciate what he was saying (“I feel like a crazy uncle!”) but he went off to a very strong round of applause.
Open spot Tom Deacon admirably kept his nerve as his material on flirty texts, sperm, and doodling on newspapers fell a bit flat. He had a very professional delivery, as well as a good range of voices and subjects, and he finished with a truly inspired piece about video piracy, which indicated how popular he could be with a bit more attention to punch lines.
Die Clatterschenkenfietermaus are a truly terrible German techno band, played for laughs by a couple of talented comics. They played us some of their synth sounds, including “When You Love Me in Your Mouth” and a relaxing number about panicking. They finished with a sci-fi story, which involved three audience members and a lot of XXX oral action. This was a remarkable set – probably the best way to get a flavour of it is through the audience interaction, which was characterized by an endless stream of inventive vitriol from both Karls who claim to hate pretty much everything. “I have my man-raping shoes on tonight,” Karl assures a cocky heckler, threatening to use his “sandy hate finger” for unhealthy purposes. Techno was never this good.
Heckles
Williams: Where are you from?
Heckler (female): Kent.
Williams: The garden of England. And you are the flower…
Heckler: Ahhhh, bless…
Williams: … With greenfly. And two pricks either side of you!
Williams: Nothing will kill you in Wales.
Heckler: Sheep!
Williams: Sheep won’t kill you.
Heckler: Maybe you’d die of exhaustion!
Williams: What do you study?
Heckler: Maths
Williams: Do you like X?
Heckler: Yes, and Y.
Williams: Hmmm… a chromosome fan!
(A female fresher laughs far too enthusiastically)
Die Clatter: (Raising an eyebrow) Well, aren’t we a giggly slut?
Heckler: (mumbles nonsensically)
Die Clatter: (Looking directly at the man we have come to know as Dave) Are you Dave?
Dan: What? Me?
Die Clatter: (Annoyed) No, I’m fucking boss-eyed!
Giggly Slut: (Giggles again)
Die Clatter: I think it’s time for her medication.
Heckler: I think she’s missed it!
There was also an extended, excruciating, and highly amusing series of exchanges between Williams and a female teacher in the audience, who Williams inadvertently compared to his nan. The joke went way too far and with a deathly awkward silence falling over the club, Williams paused and then asked “Wouldn’t it be ironic if I pulled you tonight?!”
Competition
What’s the difference between George Best and Jesus?
- Jesus never scored.
- Best can pass out for longer than three days.
- A comeback for either looks increasingly unlikely.
There were some others:
- One was God on the ball and the other came from God’s ball(?)
- I’ve no idea but thanks for the pen.
The prizes were food, booze, and free entry to the Moles nightclub. I can’t help but feel George Best would approve. See you next week!
Matthew Alford