Alan Francis/Andrew Bird
04 September 2005
Welcome to the Comedy Cavern reviews site. The Cavern is back from its traditional summer break and the crowd numbers were already respectable, despite the current absence of undergraduates. From now on we’ll be reviewing every comedy night at the Porter and you’re more than welcome to join us on Sunday nights!
4th September - David Ward, the evening’s compere, looks like Ron Jeremy having a coronary. He was quite possibly the sweatiest lard-cake I’ve ever witnessed on stage but, as he said himself, at least it showed he was working hard.
Andrew Bird was the highlight of the night. He has the natural talkativeness of a cliché London cabbie and is able to skip through a seemingly endless range of subject matter without showing the links. Bird played very well to the crowd, harking back to the halcyon days of Knock-down Ginger and the Spectrum v Atari debate, before the youth of today ruined everything with their hoodies and happy-slapping. His more philosophical stuff was also very good and proved to be particularly effective because Bird is so sincere in his beliefs. He seemed genuinely befuddled by the Science-Religion debate and aggrieved by the humiliating relationship he shares with his dad. Bird was also a sharp improviser (“Have I got a lazy eye?”), which demonstrated his ability to control his abundant nervous energy and really put the crowd at ease.
Joe Bor has only been going for a few months but showed he is already getting to grips with the challenges of standup comedy. He had an engaging range of voices and knows how to perform his stuff with a good measure of energy and conviction. Sometimes the gags were a bit flabby and the topics predictable but Bor nevertheless hit a lot of the right notes.
Alan Francis headlined tonight and showed the self-assurance of an experienced comedian, sucking lackadaisically on his fags and talking about everything from regional television to his desire to be an American film star despite his Scottish roots (ever tried asking for a Martini shaken-not-stirred in Glasgow?). Francis developed a broader narrative about politics and culture, which occasionally missed its target but often scored too, particularly when he demanded that 10 tonnes of cocaine seized by customs be given back to the British people. Rock on! He also improvised well with the talkative (ie. pissed) crowd about the nature of celebrity culture and modern art.
Overall, then, a good start to the comedy season. See you next week!
Winner of the Joke Competition (“What’s the difference between Madonna and a Toaster”):
“Madonna hasn’t got a removable crumb tray” (Martin). The Prize: Beer and free tickets.
Heckles
Heckler: “I deserve two pounds off my ticket because I’m heckling you”
Heckler: “They won’t let you on ‘Parkinson’ unless you’ve got a beard”
Francis: “Guns are cool. Penises aren’t cool”
Heckler: “You wouldn’t want to be shot by a penis”.
“Francis: “You certainly can’t hold up a bank with one”
Ward: “How do you know this lady, mate?”
Heckler: “Rape”.
Matthew Alford




